I would watch all my babies when they slept. I would watch their chest rise and fall, both for the reinsurance of life and for gratefulness.

Being a mother was the one thing I never questioned. I never contemplated if it was right for me, I just knew.

When I was a teen, I would think of baby names and then right them 100 times to see how it looked on paper. I would look at baby clothes, years before a baby ever came.

I wanted to be a mom.

When the time came and I was gifted the title of mom, the real challenges came. As a teen, the name was my biggest concern. Now, the reality of this chapter was much more complex.

Motherhood was difficult.

Just like most things in life, you have to experience things to understand them. We can be prepared and educated, but the reality happens with exposure.

Motherhood changed me. It made me empathize even more. It made me respect even more. It made me see my own mother differently.

As a mother, I quickly learned how much I needed my own mom. I needed guidence. I needed support and reassurance.

I just needed my mom.

Now, I lay next her. This women that I have needed for such a long time.

I am now watching her chest rise and fall. I am watching the space between breaths.

We laid together all night in bed. I was afraid to sleep across the room.

I sang songs to her. I told her about the kids. I made sure she knew how proud I was of her. I was so grateful for this alone time. It was just her and I.

The next evening on September 15th, mom took her last breath. She let go. I watched my mom slip away.

I still need her. However, this is what we do as moms. We sacrifice. We set aside our needs for others.

As much as I need her, I have complete comfort knowing she is at peace.

She will no longer be afraid.